Everything's comin' up roses

This is copied from my brain, from yesterday. My brain being a little tiny black notebook that's basically a diary on crack.

This entry might look kinda stupid, but my close friends will get it. Love you guys.

Sorry about the language.

So, I was discussing classes with my mom, and I realized that I have none of a segment of criteria that I need for the school I want, I have a million things to do, and life seems to be sucking big time.

I came upstairs and had myself a panic attack.

Then I realized something. I realized how scared I was.I realized how truly, stupidly, pathetic I was being. That's when I decided.

Y'know what, Life?

Fuck you.

I'm sick and tired of being scared. I'm tired of being judged. I'm tired of pressure.

But mostly?

I'm tired of worrying.

I'm going to go out into the world that wants to get me down, the world thhat wants to mold and change me, the world that wants to make me a statistic, and I'm going to be different.

I'm going to be unconventional.

Why?

Because that's who I am. I'm weird, I'm different, I'm unconventional.

I'm sick of hiding from myself. In the end, I'll be the same me, no matter how I try to beat myself into the conformist mold.

I'm going to do a million little things, because I've wanted to.

I'm going to steal Evan's seat in Algebra so I can sut by Moonda, because I feel awkward in my isle of isolation, and there's nothing I hate more than feeling awkward.

I'm going to do odd things like keeping four pillows on my bed, because goodness knows they get good use.

I'm going to make retarded band T-shirts in Advanced Computer Apps, and wear them to school.

I'm going to make Alexa wear hers, too.

I'm going to go out and get a job, because I'm sick of worrying about it.

I'm really going to stop caring what people think.

I'll walk around school with my head held high, I'll be confident, I'll talk to people, I'll fight for what I believe.

I'm going to ignore stupid things like sex, drugs, and alchohol. Not because I want to be society's proper little 'good girl', but because I don't see the point in fucking my life up like that.

I'm going to let people judge me how they like, even if they decide to spread rumors about me. I became immune to those rumors a long time ago anyway.

I'm going to stop HIDING. I answer questions truthfully, and to the fullest extent, even if it is an air-headed prep asking me about my sexual experience/orientation. or why my boyfriend and I haven't done it yet.(XD)

I'll do things that make the hardest person in the world to impress proud. Even though that person is me.

And honestly, I'm going to find time amidst working my amazing new job, studyong for great grades, and talking to my wonderful boyfriend to bitch about everything on here.

'Cause you know what? I'm a realist. Life isn't perfect, life will get me down, and there's no harm in a good rant.

C.K.M.D!

Peace.

Ba-zalla Jeebus. It's the Obys!

I just wanted to say a couple things about the Obys, so people can understand them better. I'm trying to make them as realistic as possible, so this stuf is going to change some.

Oby's are technicially transsexual(something I realized just a little while ago.) They have an Oby form, which looks like a really adorable dinosaur. They sleep in their Oby form, by which I mean, as soon as they lapse into unconsciousness, they're in the Oby form. It has thicker skin and is generally faster than a human body. For the first several years after they hatch, they stay stuck in Oby form. The other form in an all purpose human form. They change into a human of approximately 2 years of age and grow up from there.

Here's the kicker: All Oby human forms are male. No, I'm not a rabid Yaoi fangirl who just wants an excuse to draw 'ohmaigawd boys kissing!'

There is a valid reason for them to be all male. They're not technicially 'male' anyway. They can only get pregnant in human form. Wrap your brain around that.

Don't go off on me about how the parts aren't in the right place for blahblahblah, they just aren't set up like humans. The parts for blahblahblah are indeed there. I don't like to think about that part.

further proof that I'm not in it for the Yaoi: M-preg? practicially nonexistent. When they get preggers, their body goes into "protective mommy mode". They stay in their Oby form all the time, as it's better suited to the uses. They can change to human if they really need too, but it's hard and it's not worth the effort unless you have a damn good reason.

Anyway, my reasons for making them all male are really not that important unless you want Hestian history lesson. (Hestia being the planet they live on).

Okies, that's my condensed Oby bio. I love the obys, they're awesome.

Anyway, I've been out of school for a day and a half, which I haven't enjoyed at all. Especially because of the fact that I didn't miss third hour. Now I have homework, so I'm stresing out about that, and it's really not calming down the party in my stomach. Seriously, it sucks. I wanted to go to school today, but since I didn't sleep last night, and, in the words of my mother, I "was as white as a ghost and sounded awful", I ended up using that extra time for sleep.

And to watch "Willow", which is an awesome movie. I've never seen the whole thing before. I highly reccomend it, if only for the fact that Val Kilmar(Madmartigan) parades around half naked, or in a frilly pink dress for half the movie. No honestly, he gets captured, and this fact somehow rtemoves his shirt nad half of has make-shift pants(created from the frilly pink dress). I just want to know how that happened.

Seriously though, Val Kilmer is an awesome actor. I'm sad nw, that he turned down parts for both Neo of "The Matrix" and Louis of "Interview with a Vampire".

Alright, I think I'm done now.

"I love you Sorcha? I don't love her! She kicked me in the face!"

Look me in the eye

I think it's when someone compliments my eyes. That's when they really are comfortable around me. All of my friends(the really close ones) Have at one time, looked at me and gone "You have really pretty eyes."

I've always loved being complimented on my eyes, but that pretty much stopped when I got glasses.

That's why I think it's a kind of test. You have to see past my glasses, and the fact that I have my dad's eyebrows(Freaking scraggly and annoying), to the fact that my eyes are interesting.

I'm not just narcissistic, I know my eyes are intresting. They change color. How many of you can say that?

Yeah, I just realized that earlier. Dunno.

Anyway, school's going alright. I love my new schedule, it's much better than the last one.

I actually don't dread going to school anymore! I suspect that this is partially because my first hour is no longer filled with morons, but infused with awesome,

We presented things in first hour today, which was pretty sucky, but since I went first, no one even remembers it anymore. XD

Plus, I actually undertand what's happening in Chemistry. Understanding chem=teh amazing.

Unfortunatly, we took a quiz over that stuff today, so it's probably over. Sad.

Anywho, I'm really putting off some stupid homework, so off I go.

I know you haven't a clue where they're from, but they're just so darn cute!

Currently Watching Batman Begins (Widescreen Edition) By Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Liam Neeson, Katie Holmes, Gary Oldman, Cillian Murphy, Tom Wilkinson, Rutger Hauer, Ken Watanabe, Mark Boone Junior, Linus Roache, Morgan Freeman, Larry Holden, Gerard Murphy (II), Colin McFarlane, Sara Stewart, Gus Lewis, Richard Brake, Rade Serbedzija, Emma Lockhart see related

I'm Not Done Talking Yet

So. Home alone. Yeap. Sure is quiet around here. Except for the cats. They're hissing and stuff. Zeke is apparently not welcome in the same room or in any rooms in a surrounding radius as Spice.

Poor Zekey I wuvvles him. With his poor eyesight and mild disposition. He's so cute. Every now and again he bumps into something, but he's remarkably co-ordinated. ... for a cross-eyed cat. He's a chocolate-point siamese, according to my mom. Real pretty. I'll get a picture of him uploaded soon.

Friday should be fun, Alexa and Cortney are supposed to be coming over to go fabric shopping. And Cortney should join Girl Scouts. Someone make her.

Maybe it'll sleet and cancel school. Wouldn't that be bitter-sweet. I get the day off, but the buses don't run, and there's a chance of no shopping. Boo.

Now I have a killer headache. Woooonderful. Bah, stupid...head. Geh.

Anyway.

We have to write a lab report for Chemistry. I don't know how. She hasn't given us guidelines for reports. I've never written reports. I guess I'll stop complaining now.

It is reaaaally quiet in here. And dark.

And after a short break for dinner and watching Batman Begins:

Now it's a migrain! Ah well.

Oh, I've been negleting my comic, sadly. But! I have gotten a lot of work done on the Obys. They're looking cool. Especially Tae. 'cause he's all vampy and stuff. You all know nothing about what this means, but hey, if it all works out, there should be a pair of comics up and running smooth. Maybe the headache is from the massive mind-dump that comes with creating an entire race and their planet.

Eh, I'll see you people later-times.

Quote-ity quote quote:

Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to critisize,
hypocrites, you're all here for the very same reason

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe, just breathe,
Woah breathe, just breathe

Currently Reading Dramacon 2 (Dramacon) see related

Stuff!

Hello all. Hope you had good Christmas...es. Good wishes for the new year and all that.

I don't really have much to say, just thought that it'd been a long time since I updated this thing.

Next semester should be fun, though I plan on spending most of the first day in the counselling office, fixing my schedule. ... again. Most of the first day that is, after 1st hour. 1st hour changes for no one. So excited!

Though, I'm going to end up in Creative writing 2 or something, which sucks. Sorry Amanda, I still can't stand Hafner. I want her to do some things that people don't talk about in polite company.

Auld Lang Syne is brought to you today by the Boston Gay Men's Choir. XD